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Are your ready for a relationship - some are but not everyone is even years after a divorce. Are you relationship ready - some people think they are others dive straight into another marriage with regrets. Avoid divorce lawyers - is this the new answer to a non acrimonious divorce or do they simply entrench couples and create hardship. Bankruptcy myths - how some people try to avoid their responsibilities. Before you leave - a check list of things to do before you leave home. Being a friend during divorce - this is so helpful for people going through a divorce. Building trust - can take years to re-establish after a messy divorce. Cheating partners - is this the most common cause for divorce. Children's discipline - this will really suffer during divorce proceedings. Choosing your divorce method - are their options. This is not as easy as it seems. Christmas survival tips - will you be depressed at this time of year. Chronic depression - how to cope and avoid it during divorce. Consumer debt - a very common reason for divorce explored. Coping with the family law process - life becomes very complicated during a divorce. Coping with infertility - perhaps one of the sadest reasons for a relationship breakdown. Credit and divorce - can obtaining credit after divorce be easy. Deciding on divorce - not the easiest decision you can make. Defending your relationship - this is your right - getting by is not enough. Discovering infidelity - one of the most hurtful aspects to a relationship. Divorce advice - where to get it. Divorce and bankruptcy - so many financial failures but why. Divorce and the stock market - strange mixture but interesting. Divorce articles - are they of value. Divorce decision - right or wrong you now have to live with it. Divorce online - will they save you time and money. Divorce parenting mistakes - so common now during divorce. Divorce protection for women - are they better at it than men. Divorce secrets - have they exposed the truth about divorce. Eating disorders - can this be a reason for divorce. Emotional roller coaster - life during divorce really is a state of highs and lows. End of your marriage - some interesting perspectives. Essence of infidelity - is there such a thing. Family cycle - Understanding the stages of life. Family law - This is a specialist subject. Fighting the good fight - are you motivated by this. Get a prenuptial agreement - will this safeguard your assets. Getting a jewish divorce in the UK - is this easier than you think. Have an affair - can this be good for a relationship. Hidden divorce costs - can be reduced for the informed. Hire a divorce lawyer - are they worth their money. Holy matrimony - is this a declining institution. How to grieve a tragedy - divorce is just like any other family tragedy. How to recover from divorce - some tips & tricks to get going in life again. How to select a divorce lawyer - steps to do and things to avoid. How to survive a divorce - can this be done without too much damage. Impact of divorce on families - this is often a tragedy all round. Important papers - secure documents before the separation. Is she cheating - can the husband tell. Keep hope alive - positive thinking can be a very useful cure. Lawful divorce - great discussion. Life after divorce - some ways to cope and how to get on. Lost that loving feeling - very common in longer term relationships. Love discrimination - is this an explanation for divorce. Managing your step family - a very tight path to tread. Marriage counseling - is this a life saver or just delaying tactics. Marriage fairy tale - there are millions every year - why not you. Marriage problems - we all have them at some stage but is this justification for a divorce. Meaningful holidays - one way for maintaining a healthy relationship. Miscommunication - men and women are from different planets aren't they. Moving beyond grief - tips for moving on in life. Online dating after divorce - is this the modern option for finding that new partner. Online dating - can it replace the work or pub environment. Out grown your life - quite a common feeling that creates the ned for change. Parental conflict - how this can effect the children during divorce. Pay off your debts - should this be before or after a divorce. Potty training after divorce - the simple things in life can even be affected by a divorce. Prenuptial agreement dilemma - are they as water tight as you think. Relationship spring cleaning - a great one liner that says so much. Sanction of marriage - good discussion but a bit deep. Seduction of a married man - men are so easy to seduce aren't they. Sexless marriage - can such a thing exist. Should I consult a therapist - are they of value during a divorce. Should I get a divorce - can this ever be your own decision. Signs of infidelity - can you spot them in your partner. Single parent - you are now a statistic so has your status in life been lowered. Spare your kids the stress of divorce - do everything you can - they will benefit in the end. Surviving divorce - why do we need to simply survive it - why not celebrate it. Tax records - destroy them at your peril after a divorce. Things to consider in divorce - simply too much. Too many divorces - is it too easy these days. Two hearts - beat stronger than one. Valentines day ideas - how you can enjoy the day as well as a newly divorced person. What parents should do - your personal check list. Why men wont commit - is this an urban myth.

Divorce Law Guide Articles.

Being A Friend Through A Divorce

Being A Friend Through A Divorce
By Kim Dziobak

We used to joke amongst the couples we are close to, "who would get custody of the friends in a divorce". We are a very close group of friends that met in college around 20 years ago, and have remained close through many of life’s changes and transitions. Never did we think that our joke would have to eventually be addressed.

The day that my best friend told me that her marriage was in trouble was devastating. Here was a couple that we shared our lives with. Her husband and mine had been roommates the same year that she and I lived together in college. We stood up in each others weddings. We were godparents for one of their boys, they godparents to our son. He helped us build our house. We spent weekends together, holidays, birthdays.

Suddenly all that was going to come to an end and I had to think quickly about how I would find balance between two people that I cared about. Through some trial and error, here are some of the things I learned about being a friend to divorcing friends.

A. Listen. It is sometimes very, very difficult, but key. You are not going to solve your friend’s problems, only they can. Allowing your friends to talk about their feelings, or talk through the situation, helps them to start the process of healing. Remember too that as a listener, sometimes the less said the better. Silence can be one of the strongest coach/counseling tools you have in your arsenal. More healing can be done in the silent times than in the talking. Let there be silence when there isn’t anything to say. It is really ok.

B. Focus on the person that you are talking to, not the spouse. My friend couldn’t change her husband’s behavior, but she could change how she was responding to him, or how she internalized the things that he said. These were things she could control and growth she could make. Beating him up behind his back will only go so far in making her feel good.

C. Don’t play favorites. This was the hardest thing for me and continues to be. My best friend was hurt terribly and I instinctively wanted to protect her and validate her. Though I wouldn’t often bad mouth him to her, I would do it to my husband, which made things within our relationship stressful. Even though this divorce was the result of some bad decision making on the part of my friends husband, he was still someone she had devoted her life to for ten years, the father of their children and my husband’s friend. I needed to always keep that in mind. If you have to rant and rave negativeness, it is best to find a third party or write in your journal.

D. Make sure that you do things with your friend that takes his/her mind off their miseries. If you always get together and just talk about the divorce, soon you will get burned out and your friendship will start to struggle. You need to continue to groom the things that made your friendship strong before the marital problems started. Not to mention that your friend is probably eating, sleeping, living the divorce 24/7 and some time off from that will give them a renewed attitude and help them to see that there will continue to be life after their divorce.

E. Find ways to continue traditions and make new ones. My friend and I started to get together for our kids to make gingerbread houses at Christmas time before her divorce began. We still do this and have expanded the day to included going out to cut our Christmas tress and exchange gifts. Even though we know that traditions help to normalize things for kids, they can do the same things for adults and again be a reminder that your friends and family are important.

Divorce is a stressful and difficult time for both the couple and their friends. It is not unusual to hear that friends felt inclined to choose one person or the other because the divorce made things uncomfortable. With a little hard work and commitment, friendships can continue to grow, flourish, develop, and be successful.

Kim Dziobak is a personal coach dedicated to working with individuals and families.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/

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